Wood Saga: No Sense Of Humor
Written By Donny Rodriguez
April 22nd, 2010
Forward by Bailey DeBloggèr:
In 2010 comedy is alive. In 2013 comedy is dead. America, in it’s American innovative ways, is on the forefront of bringing comedy to the world for free. The internet became a platform for any and everyone to broadcast themselves “saying or doing funny shit.” Thought provoking humorous films have been replaced by the viral video. Here in Chicago, venues like the Lakeshore Theater, once a staple for comics has been unstapled and replaced with the paper clip of podcasts. Status updates make sketch comedy seem out dating. Drama is paramount.
Donny Rodriguez of Wood Sugars paints a picture, but with words, of a dystopian society where laughter is outlawed, clowns are crucified, and there’s no sense of humor.
It puts me in insane peril to be blogging this to you. It’s April the 8th 2013, The new totalitarian government has already enacted a law to end comedy as we once knew it. LOL-ing has been deleted. And I along with you are to be blamed.
I posted this blog to your cyber coordinates because you all have seen the initial series of events to comedy’s ultimate demise. Chicago, the city once known as the capital for ruses, revues, and reverses is now rubble. The dust kind.
Here’s how it started according to my time, the future:
Historians have surmised that the eradication of the fabled “Stand-up Comedian” was due in part to the surplus of witticisms on social networking sites. Prior to 2009, before the inception of the “funny facebook groups”, these said up-right gag-goyles were the only one’s to muse about topics that are simple truths. When social net-workers started to unionize and joined such groups like “I wait to get to work to go to the bathroom, so I can get paid to poop” or “No, I don’t want you to straighten my hair in the middle of the mall” and when others were becoming a fans of “The awkward moment when a fat girl says she’s fat…”, the comic found his clubs empty. All of a sudden, EVERYONE was a part of pointing out the obscure happenings in everyday life.
Long-form improvisation had just as short of a life line. .
People grew weary of classical theater with the lack of CG and quick cuts. Improv teams were left standing in front of a packed house of empty chairs asking, “Can I just have a suggestion of a place or object… Anything at all…Alright Cricket Matting calls, here we go….(mimic cricket)” This would all be considered the beginning of the end.
YouTube Also had a part in comedy and laughter demise….enter the Low Quality YouTube clip.
Work safe emails of YouTube clips of drugged up children discussing dentist visits or watch Caucasian toddlers dancing inappropriately to hip hop song took the art of jests.
Here’s probably what actually killed comedy.
The fall of comedy can be linked to the fall of Socialist party. In 2011 Leader Obama went on the Nickelodeon tween interview show “Softballz for Dignateriez” and was asked by host iCarly “Why has this nation lost it’s sense of humor?” Obama postulated that humor comes from pain and indignation, Obama went on to say “In this country everyone is insured, most of us all have jobs again, and the world doesn’t hate us as much anymore.” “Laugh it up people, on me, it’s good for you,” Leader Obama said. iCarly countered with, “Socialist! Are you a doctor, Hussein Obama? How do you plan on funding the laughter for all 300 million Americans? Another OBAMA tax?” Which Obama responded with, “Is she for ****ing serious?” That was the for real beginning of the end. Not like I said earlier. iCarly was a patsy working for the Republican party. Obama was painted as a racist and his approval ratings plummeted to single digits his presidency in jeopardy.
The opportunist Right had a Joker up their sleeve.
In 1931, Herbert Hoover passed a little known piece of legislation called the Reversi/Do-Over act of 1931. In it, it states if the approval rating of a president goes below single digits, than the president has to face a vote off with the president before him. It was widely ignored by the public because nobody really gave a shit about Herbert Hoover and most people were too busy boiling their carpets for sustenance to care. The votes were in, except from Florida, they’re still counting. Obama Lost. Enter the New-old Sheriff in town. Leader W was back and had a new agenda, to outlaw comedy.
Leader W immediately put into legislation that jokes and laughter are to be executed at Midnight June 20th 2012 because they are a threat to our freedom. Leader W officially said that Al-qaeda has been killing Americans with a slow killing agent known as laughing gas triggered by anything funny. Leader W. said the poison usually takes 73.2 years to kill Americans. Some think Leader W wanted to end comedy because of the 8 years being made fun of.
All jokesters were forced to quit performing. Underground communities were established. All the comedians who have appeared on Chelsey Lately, started performing their sexual innuendo,mildly inappropriate, pop cultured one liners to each other in caves of the Northern California mountains. Recently I received a 30 second bootlegged vid clip of Jo Koy telling a joke about the middle Kardasians 5 year old child daughter dating Tiger Woods. “Those Karadsians sure do like banging the blacks, and that Tiger sure does like to fuck anyone but his wife,” said Koy. The echos of funny bone fractures from the cave could be heard as far as Oregon.
Not all funny people turned their back on their craft and excepted comedy’s death. A pack of rebel forces, lead by Neil Patrick Harris, Diablo Cody, Mo Rocca, planed to attack the White House as Leader W slept. The attack on the night of January 1st 2013 on the White House was waged. It was called Tyler Perry Presents: Operation, well what else are we gonna do? . The attack was shorter than a 5 minute open mic set. Armed with only pens and gag-guns that shot out flags that said bang, all rebel lives were lost. Leader W told all American that an all out war against comedians state-side is being waged.
When word spread in the comedic community, jesters we’re wiped off the grid. Mel Brooks decided to literally break the fourth wall by jumping out the window of his 15 story apartment. All that was left was a note that said, “I guess Hitler got the last laugh.” Woody Allen died of auto-neurotic asphyxiation. Jonah Hill? diabetes got him. Some were hunted. Stephen Colbert was hanged for satire worship. Jay Leno was stabbed in the back repeatedly by an unknown gazel like assailant. An hour later Conan O’Brien was trampled by a wild pack of ruthless peacocks. Carson Daley’s life was spared because he’s never made anyone laugh. Ever.
Life in my time is shit. It’s not only those who do comedy for a living that are affected. Laughter has ceased. Flirting isn’t much fun anymore. Big fat guys no longer have a defense mechanism. When someone farts, we are all instantly disgusted. Sadness lingers longer than it should. When your loved ones are in tears, you can’t cheer them up with an anecdote special to the two of you. Eulogies of the one’s we’ve lost just hurt. My dad passed away two weeks ago and when I spoke at his funeral I said “It’s like I’m just reading off a bunch of facts. My Dad hated facts and the truth, just asks his ex-wife, my mom.” It was as if we we’re in the morgue in there. I have to log off now. This is Perez Hilton, God Bless. Okay, I understand the irony that my blogs are probably the real reason all this went down. What are ya gonna do?
